And I hate that I do.
She’s not gone, but she’s not around. 

I wish she was the mother she should’ve been. The person who was there from my very first breath, through every single tear and all the joys. I wish she was somebody I could confide all my thoughts in, somebody who knew all the people in my life like I do. I wish she could see it all the way I do, and be able to tell me what was the best thing for me, without agenda. 

I want so bad to call her, but the person I need has never existed in my life

and the worst part is they never will, because that’s not the person my mother is